I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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