how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
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