Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
