i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
