I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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