She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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