Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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