Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I want her autograph on my taint
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
