apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
