dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
