just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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