i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
