She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
