so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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