Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize