I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
