This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I did not marry a roomba.
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