What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
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Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
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When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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