Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
