Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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