I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Your penis caused this!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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