I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize