you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
