Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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