She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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