I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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