Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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