her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just gift wrapped bread.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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