She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
