he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
