someone threw a dead crab at me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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