toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize