birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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