6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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