I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
