Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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