East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
