come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
