Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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