'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
