Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
