I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
