oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize