woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
3pm strippers are depressing
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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