never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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