let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
