i just wanna soil my oats bro
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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