Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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