dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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