Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize