doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
