Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
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Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
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You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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