she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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