I am in a vortex of obligation.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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