this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
