And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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