roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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