i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
false alarm. still invincible.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
