Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
