Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
